


Not on my farm

by MayStardust



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Slow Burn, Tsukki's dino fetish, and alien obsessed Tooru, mixed with a farming cow, the au we've all been waiting for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 15:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10516800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayStardust/pseuds/MayStardust
Summary: Tsukishima is a Paleontologist with only one goal in mind: digging up dino fossils. Lately a hot topic has been spreading around about a huge possibility of finding a rare fossil under a piece of land. However, the owner of the land, Farmer Ushiwaka, has been turning down anyone who tried to make a deal with him.One way or another, Tsukishima gets involved in a not very pretty way (thanks to Oikawa), and now he’s stuck working on the farm to repay his debt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It's been awhile since I uploaded a fic. This one is very dear to me cuz I have been working on this for 2 years now. Pls read till the end (especially the author notes) and let me know in the comments what you thought of this uwu
> 
> Edit June 15 2017: I hope you guys are reading this knowing that this was posted on April Fool's, aka this being a joke. It's unedited and all so read at your own risk. Tbh I would've loved to take this story idea seriously, but it's very demotivating when you're the only one actively creating content for a ship no one else is active with.

The sound of clinking glass chimed in the air, followed by loud cheers from tenth people. The canteen was more crowded than usual and the champagne gave away the sign of a celebration. The people were exhausted yet happy, everyone except one.

In the corner of the room stood one individual that felt out of place. They didn’t want to be noticed however that was impossible.

"Kei~ Are we having FUN!?" This time a drunk female coworker had noted the tall lanky man sighing and sipping his drink. Thanks to his height he was never able to stand around without being spotted. He pushed his glasses back up as the woman began talking nonstop.

 _‘So noisy.’_ The creaks in his brows were showing and he was sure of it that if she won’t shut up and go away that he’ll mentally rip his blonde hair out of his scalp.

Soon another co worker approached the drunkard, murmuring something about not leaving her out of sight ever again. She then saw Kei’s slightly annoyed look. An apology for her friend’s behaviour and she dragged her to the other side of the room.

No, Kei clearly didn’t belong here. Even though he was part of the team, which had dug up some dino fossils yo. At least everyone else saw him as part of this group, he himself not. All he did was contribute some wee hours of examining and that’s that.

His brown eyes scanned the room trying to find the last task of tonight and then he could finally leave. They eventually fell on the teamleader who was only a couple feet away, talking to yipyup. Kei didn’t falter in his steps as he walked up to the man.

"Congratulations." It was just out of politeness. The man who got the most credit for this finding smiled brightfully and slapped Kei’s back. They got into a short conversation before getting interrupted by other yipyups. It was Kei’s sign that he was finally done here. Without taking a look back he left the canteen.

 

-

 

This is his passion. Having bones from the past in your hands is a sugoi feeling. The beauty of dinos is fascinating, but the digging up part is blegh. So Kei only wants to start his first assignment when he knows 100% sure that the place he digs will contain them dino fossils. Not the measly 99% nuhuh. Then Kei will be out.

More fossil passion yupyipoy!

 

-

**A week later.**

 

‘’STHIPPIGGTYUUHGGDRRR!!!’’ The words got followed with a loud thunk. Some turned around to look at what happened, but after seeing who it was they continued with what they were doing. Kei was almost about to do the same thing however something inside him decided to pry at the fuming man. It was what he was good at, humiliating annoying human beings.

‘’My my~ insult insult.’’ Kei snickered at the man.

‘’I don’t want to hear that from you! You just won’t get it.’’

‘’It didn’t work again, did it?’’ Someone from the sides popped in.

 _‘Again?’_ Kei thought.

‘’That blasted son of a cow. How dare he turn down such an offer. Here I thought I finally had him.’’

‘’Maybe you should be more concerned about other things you don’t have.’’ Kei bby (man=bald, or wait no NO it’s the fuking principle but he now also in this fic pfffffffft)

‘’TSUKISHIMA.’’

‘’It’s better to leave him be.’’ The background character/coworker commented as he led Kei away from the angered man.

‘’Seriously, I don’t even know what he is talking about.’’ Kei told them with a shrug.

‘’You haven’t heard? There is ***fossil @Shiratorizawa farm explanation*** ’’

‘’Tsk. It is all a waste of time.’’

‘’The others don’t think so. Hundred of folks have tried to convince that farmer but he dun give a shiZzle.’’

‘’Cool story brah.’’ Kei commented unfazed.

‘’It’s a real challenge. Not many dare to take him on. Definitely not after so many rejections.’’ They said before moonwalking back to their workstation.

Kei was left alone with new information he didn’t give a shit about. (yet)

 

***LUNCH BREAK***

 

*Kei searched about Shiratorizawa farm and after lots of inner monologue he decides to take a chance (because he’s ‘’kinda’’ interested oelala Tsukki)*

A moment later Oikawa from the planetarium will burst inside, bestowing the whole room with his glory. He will see Kei struggling with his dino fetish so Oikawa to the rescue. He will tell Kei that he knows someone from Shiratorizawa farm that can pull some strings to get him access to the land to dig up dem dinos, _only if he went along with him in the middle of the night to the farm, carry out his orders, and to ask no questions._

Kei should’ve said no to that shady offer, but dinos. So here they are, at night in the middle of a crop field with shovels, taking down the crops one by one.  


_Unbelievable._

“THIS was your ‘secret foolproof’ plan?’’ Tsukishima gawked at Oikawa in disbelieve. “Crop circles. How is this going to work?"

“Just wait and see. With this we will have Ushiwaka on his knees before you can even say aliens.”

“Aliens.” Tsukishima played along. “Oh my, how come I don’t see this ‘Ushiwaka’ on his knees yet?

“Shut up. You know what I mean!”

In the end they got found out and tried to run. But due to it being dark they didn’t saw the pond so they fell into it. Tsukishima got caught while Oikawa got away. Due to the damage they caused, Tsukishima now has to repay his debt by working on the farm.

  
End . 

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, May Stardust here. If you’re still here reading this, then I applaud you for not dropping out due to the cringe :’D. As you could already tell, this was an April Fools’ joke. I have no serious intent on completing this/editing it into something coherent. 
> 
> If you thought I wrote this just for April Fools sake, then you are dead wrong. This fic (or however you call this unedited mess) dates back to 12 April 2015. That’s right, this storyline has been in my drafts for almost 2 years now (meaning I have also been shipping this rare pair for 2 years already rip). Two years ago I came up with this idea, at the time I thought this idea was the bomb and one of the most predictable yet cool plots ever. 
> 
> When I started I had the motivation to write it all in one go! But I didn’t. Because sooner or later I got discouraged. To make this concept work I had to look up so many stuff and do actual research on how Paleontologist stuff and farming works.
> 
> From there on lots of uncertainty build up in me about this idea. Would people like it as much as I do? Are the characters too ooc? Or are they too much stereotyped versions of themselves? Is this even making any sense?
> 
> At last I asked myself; Will continuing this make me feel any better? Can I become satisfied with this? ..with life and other stuff lurking around the corner, dropping this idea seemed like the only option. The discouragement had gotten to me. 
> 
> In the meantime I have about 10 unfinished writing prompts sitting in my drafts, gathering dust. There are some that I would like to continue, others might not be a good idea to do so. In all honesty, I’m not a good writer. The works I uploaded on this site aren’t even worth mentioning but if you read them you’d agree. 
> 
> Despite all the down talk, I have changed my view after reading through those unfinished drafts. Even though my skill to write is shit, my ideas are fucking amazing! Why? Because I treasure all my story ideas because they always deserve a chance. I enjoy creating them, they make me laugh and make me feel productive. They make me want to keep on creating. So in the end, who cares if I cannot write and make horrible characterization mistakes? So what I don’t have all the time in the world to work on it constantly. As long as you create and enjoy, that’s what matters.
> 
> I’m going on for a long while now, but the point I am trying to reach here is; To any fic writer reading this, please hold on to those wonderful ideas you have and never let them go, don’t let them die. When the idea comes to exist and you think it’s super awesome? It is super awesome, keep on writing it! Don’t listen to that voice that is discouraging you, only listen to that cool story idea and how you can make it bloom! It’s not easy, I know, but here is your reminder to not give up! 
> 
> No matter what you do, it’s good. Don’t let negativity take away your creativity. Keep on working on those drafts, or else they will end up like this one, used for a joke and never to be taking serious ever again.


End file.
